When you think about divorce, do you imagine heated court battles, vengeful acts and a constant tug-of-war? If you do, you are not alone. It is sometimes a deterrent for couples who want out but do not want to experience those circumstances.

However, the truth is that you have other options besides fighting in court and having a judge determine the outcome. Litigation is sometimes necessary, but when it is not, it is only harmful to your time, money and family. Try the best way to divorce instead.


Mediation entails you and your spouse meeting with a neutral third party who helps you two create the terms of your divorce. The mediator cannot force you to do anything and does not serve as individual legal counsel. The purpose of the mediator is to guide you through the respectful and effective process of taking charge of your own divorce.

This approach is increasing in popularity, and for good reason. It comes with a multitude of benefits:

  • Quicker divorce 
  • Lower cost
  • Customized divorce agreement
  • Higher chance of compliance to divorce terms
  • Less contention, stress and resentment
  • Increased communication

All of these in turn also result in fewer negative effects on the children. You and your spouse may not like each other, but having the common goal of doing what is best for the kids can make you good candidates for mediation. Even if you cannot agree on every area, you can eliminate the need for a judge to decide on some matters.


When neither mediation nor litigation is the right solution, negotiation is another choice. This is a middle ground between the two. You each hire your own lawyers and meet together to negotiate a divorce settlement out of court. This way, you have an advocate to defend your needs but without using aggression or encouraging fighting. Cooperation is the goal. If you cannot meet it, then you can move on to traditional litigation.